


Answer (at the end of the line)

by ChrysX



Series: Unconditionally [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Artist Stiles, Boss Derek Hale, Boss/Employee Relationship, But also, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hand Jobs, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Married Derek, Oblivious Stiles, derek is married to kate argent, lovesick Derek, mostly feels, stiles is the third person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-10
Updated: 2014-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-18 21:10:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1443010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChrysX/pseuds/ChrysX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek , for the sake of his own sanity, was trying really hard to look at things with a hopeful perspective. Maybe this day would be different from the cloudy haze that were the rest. Maybe today something would happen and he would finally start living.<br/>Surprisingly..for once in his life… Derek was right. Something did happen.</p><p>    or</p><p>  The one where Derek is trapped in an unhappy marriage with Kate Argent and then Stiles happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Answer (at the end of the line)

  Stiles had already barged in and out through the glass revolving doors three times. Every time he got out, the otherwise beautiful, neo-classical  building of ‘’Hales’ Neverland’’ publishing house felt all the more intimidating. Five days ago he considered this place to be more than just where he worked and made his living; it was home. It was the more home he had felt at since he had moved from Beacon Hills to Boston. In his apartment it was lonely; he hadn’t even bothered to add any touches that would identify that place as his personal space.But at Hales’ there were people he could share his ideas with, there was the joy of bringing a project to life, there was… Derek.

  Derek Hale.

  Or in other words, Stiles’ boss. Or in other words, the reason Stiles couldn’t show his face to work today. Because even though he wasn’t beyond ignoring a problem until it goes away, what happened between him and Derek last Friday night was really hard to ignore. There were still the marks from his neck down to his linea alba to remind him and there was still the guilt clawing at his chest. The kind of guilt that kept him awake at night. The kind of guilt that suffocated him. Because Derek was not just his boss. He was his very unavailable, very married boss. And yeah… Kate Argent wasn’t exactly a fan favorite, but still…She was Derek’s wife. She didn’t deserve that.

 Stiles couldn’t even figure out how it had come to this. He admired Derek so much. He was the first one to believe in him and give him a job. He always listened and respected his opinion even though as a beginner he couldn’t hold the attention of his seniors. But they were just colleagues. Derek was the publisher and Stiles’ was his cover designer… _a_ cover designer. They weren’t even working that close.  The most they were seeing from each other was during all-staff meetings where Stiles would always do something clumsy or embarrassing and Derek would look at him with something like disbelief. It wasn’t until recently, when the company was preparing for an event dedicated to ‘’The Little Prince’’ and they wanted Van Gogh-like designs to promote it, that Stiles actually got to work side by side with Derek. Post-impressionism was Stiles’ area of expertise.

 Working with Derek was…uh… challenging. Stiles felt that Derek was kind of tense when around him so he kept trying to lighten the atmosphere by joking or attempting to get Derek to open up to him. He thought he had been failing spectacularly since all that got him was some awkward smirking and frowning in the ‘’you confuse me’’ or the ‘’if i smile and nod, this might be over soon’’ kind of way. But they were good together. As a team.  Stiles tended to run with a million ideas and then somehow get carried away, but Derek always managed to put him back on track. He couldn’t remember a time when he was more focused. He couldn’t remember a person whom he was more in sync with than how he was with Derek. Suddenly, he found himself with Derek’s voice stuck in his head; urging him to concentrate, to do better because he could. Stiles wasn’t proud to admit this but there were those times… Times when he would pass by Derek’s office early in the morning and he would still be there from last night because he didn’t want to go home or times he would hear him yelling at his phone exasperated and Stiles would know he was talking with Kate. At those times he would think that if Derek was with him it wouldn’t be that way, that he would make him happy.

 But these were just fantasies. Plain fantasies. Stiles hadn’t planned to act on anything. It just happened.

* * *

  The morning Derek met Stiles for the first time was one of the worst in his life. Well...truth be told, Derek hadn’t had a good day for quite some time, but this was just one of these days where everything feels wrong from the moment you open your eyes; where you just wish for the world to stop and even the simple act of breathing seems like too much work.

 He woke up in an empty bed. Kate was gone in one of her usual trips out of town. It was the only solution they’d come up with for when things were getting so tense between them that it felt unbearable to exist in each others’ space. Derek was pretty sure that most couples didn’t get to that point after only two years of marriage. His parents had been married for almost twenty years before they died and he didn’t remember them tearing each other up constantly like that. Of course, he had never dreamt of finding a person whom he could fit so harmoniously with as did his mom with his dad. He was aware that he was a difficult person… that he carried a lot of baggage. But Kate seemed to get and accept that...in the beginning. That’s why he married her. He didn’t want to be alone anymore. He needed someone that could understand; not someone that would heal him...just someone that would see how broken he was and they wouldn’t mind.

 He stayed still for a couple of minutes contemplating if he should skip going to work. Spending the day in bed instead of having to go through the same routine he had to go through week after week seemed very appealing at the moment. He only entertained that thought for a little while though before getting out of bed to start getting dressed. First of all, he couldn’t trust Peter to do anything on his own and secondly, Derek , for the sake of his own sanity, was trying really hard to look at things with a hopeful perspective. Maybe this day would be different from the cloudy haze that were the rest. Maybe today something would happen and he would finally start living.

 Surprisingly..for once in his life… Derek was right. Something did happen.

 Stiles happened.

 Derek remembers standing wide-eyed at the pavement as the valet was driving away to go park his car. He remembers urging himself mentally to move and yet being unable to. He just stood there, staring at the young kid pacing nervously back and forth , in front of the entrance of his company. Derek guessed he was around twenty-five, though he could be younger. He was tall and lean, but his shoulders were wide and he had a pretty impressive posture. He had brown, messy hair and he was making it worse by constantly running his fingers through them. He kept muttering things to himself as he unsuccessfully tried to loosen his tie. He didn’t even seem to notice when a group of little pre-schoolers, obviously on a field trip, passed by him so he almost knocked over a couple of them. It was the most ridiculous and at the same time the most perfect thing, Derek had ever witnessed.

  When the boy unexpectedly raised his bent head and his eyes met Derek’s, he couldn’t bring himself to look away. The boy didn’t look away either. For a few seconds their eyes stayed locked. When the kid gave him a nervous smile, Derek remained unresponsive, his hand tightly clutching the handle of his briefcase. It was a strange feeling the one that overtook him. Suddenly, it was like he was looking at the world with different lenses… or the same but with a warming filter added on. Everything seemed...better. It took everything he got not to step forward and embrace that new-found sensation. He wanted to. He wasn’t allowed to.

 Finally, the boy, still looking straight at Derek, took a deep, calming breath, turned around and marched into the company.

 And that was supposed to be the end of it…

 Derek would just hide himself in his office for the rest of the day and tomorrow it would be like the guy  had never existed. He was probably here for an interview since the Cover and Promotional Art department had been down one person for months now. They had been holding meetings with candidates for three days straight and the competition was quite high. It was unlikely that they would hire someone so young and probably inexperienced. He would never see the boy again.

 It took Derek exactly two minutes and an elevator ride to decide that he was resolutely not okay with this idea. And that’s how he found himself in the conference room where the interviews were held.

 He was trying really hard to pretend that he was actually paying attention to all the artists but he was very obviously failing. He was mostly staring at the door and hoping that the next person to pass through it would be the one that had turned his day upside down.

 For a moment he had started losing hope because they were closing to the end of the interviews and the guy hadn’t showed up. They had already started discussing which three candidates had the biggest potential when the door opened to reveal the obviously anxious, but valiantly trying to look cool boy. Derek silently prayed that the group missed the sigh of relief that escaped him and how he tried to sit straighter.

‘’Stiles Stilinski?’’ He asked, looking at the CV in his hands . The boy just nodded and went to sit at the other side of the table.

 Up close Stiles was twice as beautiful. Derek had always found that cliché phrases like ‘’i got lost in his eyes’’ belonged only in the diaries of pre-adolescent girls and had never been able to relate to the feeling anyway. But Stiles’ eyes...they were doing things to Derek; not just because of the way they looked but also for the way they looked at him. Like he was transparent...like he wouldn’t be able to hide anything from him even if he tried.

‘’Could we see a sample of your work, Mr. Stilinski?’’ Derek managed to say. He could sense the curious looks his colleagues were giving him. With the rest of the artists he had barely exchanged a hello and a goodbye. He was particularly enthusiastic about the goodbye part.

‘’Of course...ehm...there you go.’’ Stiles said, pushing his portfolio towards Derek. The nervous grin had returned on his face and now Derek had to try even harder to hold back one of his own.

  Even if he had never met Stiles in person, Derek would have been mesmerized by him just by looking at his work. The boy had already done some independent work for both children and teenage literature. His designs were dark and eerie and absolutely beautiful. To the general public Stiles’ drawings might have seemed inappropriate for books targeted towards kids, but ‘’Hales’ Neverland’’ was not the traditional kind of publishing house. In their stories, sometimes monsters were the heroes. Their fairytales didn’t always have a happy ending. Derek could very objectively say that Stiles was a perfect fit for the House.

  He actually did say that. Out loud.

  Both Stiles and his colleagues were staring at him with their mouths wide open. Derek could feel his face heat up as he slowly realized what he had just done, but he tried to preserve a calm and decisive attitude.

‘’Like...for real?’’ Stiles asked, blinking at him in confusion and fuck if that wasn’t the cutest thing Derek had ever seen.

‘’Uhm...yeah? I mean yes! Yes. It would be a pleasure to have you as part of our team.’’  

  The waves of happiness that seemed to rush through Stiles were enough to make Derek aggressively  not care about the bitching that would follow for consulting absolutely no one for this decision. Actually, the thought that he would get to see and interact with Stiles everyday from now on was enough to make him not care about what happened for the rest of the day in general.

 The morning Derek met Stiles for the first time was one of the worst in his life.During the night though, as Derek lied on his bed, sleepless, with a feeling of excitement keeping him alert, he thought the day overall was one of the best.

 Finally… He was breathing again.

* * *

  The fact that he and Stiles didn’t often get to work closely together was both a blessing and a curse. Everytime he saw Stiles with his team discussing animatedly about a project and they got to make him laugh or gasp or wrinkle his forehead thoughtfully, Derek would feel his insides burning. He knew he was completely irrational but he couldn’t stop wishing that he got a chance too; a chance to fight for Stiles’ attention...a chance for Stiles to react to him. It was better that way though; safer. Anything more would simply lead to destruction.

 He was already obvious as it was anyway.

 Derek was pretty sure that almost everyone had noticed how his whole demeanor would change every time Stiles entered...always belatedly...the conference room during all-staff meetings. No one would be able to miss how he only engaged in long and not rarely heated conversations with him or how he always fought to suppress a laugh whenever the boy would get so over-excited he’d end up doing something clumsy or he would make a comment not suitable for work. Derek never laughed before.

 Thankfully, Stiles didn’t know that. He would always turn to give a little embarrassed smile to Derek and he didn’t have a clue how that made Derek’s pulse sky-rocket.

  Derek also suspected that neither Kate had missed his interest for Stiles.The first time she met him was when she’d come to visit Derek at the company; her favorite hobby for when she was bored was to come by the House and terrorize his employees.  

 Stiles happened to be at Derek’s office that day.One of Stiles’ first projects since he was still at college was an illustrated adaptation of [The Nightingale](http://m1.behance.net/rendition/modules/17885288/disp/3798a152a8c589c5fe2f3cddcf567610.jpg) and Derek had expressed his wish to see Stiles’ original designs. For reasons. As far as Stiles was concerned, Derek was an Andersen enthusiast...which he was actually.

 ‘’Stiles, aren’t these a bit gloomy?’’  Derek commented. They were standing side by side, leaning back at Derek’s desk while he was checking the drawings. ‘’You’ve mostly used shades of gray and light blue. I think i’ve connected this story in my mind with bright, vivid colors.’’

‘’Well...i find it to be a very sad story. I didn’t even think about it so much. It automatically translated into this...eh... melancholy fest?’’ Stiles hesitated for a moment before he added. ‘’So...you don’t like them?’’

‘’What? No, i do. They’re perfect. We just view the story differently. I mean...you know it is essentially a love story, right?’’

‘’A sad love story. I know he probably wrote the story for that singer….uhm...Jenny Lind was it? But she didn’t love him back.’’

‘’That doesn’t make it sad.’’

‘’Unrequited love isn’t sad?’’ Derek turned to look at Stiles who was looking at him expectantly, genuinely interested in his answer.

‘’I think no. Jenny did make Andersen happy. She did inspire him.’’ Derek spoke carefully, afraid his reply would convey too much. ‘’The nightingale still revived the emperor with its song, right?’’

‘’Oh...yeah...I mean...that sounds...It sounds about right.’’ Derek didn’t know if Stiles inability to form a coherent answer had to do  with him being amazed by Derek’s  insight on Andersen’s work or with the fact that they were now close enough for him to feel Stiles’ shaky breath ghosting his face.

 And that was when Kate chose to enter his office.

 So yeah...Kate probably picked up Derek’s ‘’oh so discreet’’ attraction to Stiles. The fact that she instantly demanded to stay alone with her husband and told Stiles to be a sweety and go bring her a macchiato pretty much confirmed it for Derek.

The rest of Kate’s interactions with Stiles consisted on her jokingly flirting with him just to draw a reaction out of him or her commenting on his appearance.

 ‘’Twenty-five? You look barely legal… And i mean that in a good way.’’

 ‘’Can i call you Freckles? I will call you Freckles.’’

  ‘’You’re the cutest. Isn’t he the cutest, Derek?’’

 _Of course_ Kate wouldn’t react like any normal, jealous wife. Mainly, because she wasn’t jealous, Derek thought. She just didn’t want Stiles to become an obstacle to her till then very successful plan of her and Derek making each other unhappy for eternity. Though so far she was way ahead in the competition.

* * *

  Stiles had been working for the company for nine months when he was first assigned as head of a project. The House had decided to plan an event for Childrens’ Day dedicated to ‘’The Little Prince’’. Since it was a period that major publications were in the works, the department’s chief decided to give Stiles a chance and make him responsible for the event’s promotional art. That meant that Derek would get to work closely with him since he was in charge of the general planning.

Derek’s day at work started and ended with Stiles. One could say it was a dream come true but madness was what it actually was; absolute madness.

 It felt like when you pair up in school with the guy you’ve been crushing on since forever.You instantly think he’s going to know. He’ll know how he could make your heart race since day fucking one. He’ll know that it’s the thought of him that keeps you awake at night. He’ll know how when you touch yourself you always wish it was him instead.

 But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part is when you actually get to know that person and he’s more wonderful and more complex than you ever hoped he would be. And then it’s not a crush anymore. It’s something much more dangerous.

  Up until the moment they got to work ‘’together together’’, what Derek had gathered for Stiles was that he was a creative, sociable person that was fun to be around. And also mind-blowingly gorgeous but that was besides the point.

 After they started spending a significant amount of time in each others’ spaces, Stiles loosened up and let his professional persona slip enough for Derek to really see him.

  And yes...Stiles was indeed sociable but he was also lonely. All his life he had been dreaming of seeing some place other than his hometown, but he was a creature of habit sothe change of environment had been really rough on him. And though he was fun to be around, he could also be a challenge to work with. He could fly from one subject to another in a matter of seconds. He would be all over an idea at one moment and the next he would completely discard it to start working on something else.

 Fortunately...for Stiles and for the project...Derek was a very patient man. Well...that wasn’t completely true. Once he had thrown a stapler at Peter because he had forgotten to hire a translator for a meeting with a representer of a manga magazines publishing house. He had sent him to the nearest japanese restaurant to find anyone that could do for the job and then he had made the fifteen year old girl he brought cry for not translating well enough. But he was stressed then. Derek didn’t respond well to stress. But with Stiles he could  be patient. He actually enjoyed helping him focus...become better. He wanted to be the one that always grounds him. He wanted this to be his everyday life.

And that...was a problem.

‘’If you didn’t have to run the company, what would you have become?’’ Stiles asked once. That’s what he did. He was always trying to figure people out...always asking questions and almost never answering crucial ones himself.

 Derek didn’t know how that question had anything to do with the quotes they would use for the promotion (because that’s what they were trying to figure out) but he indulged Stiles anyway.

 ‘’Uhm...an editor probably? I never planned to run the company but i always planned to be part of it. What about you?’’ He asked in return while passing him a list of quotes to tell him which he could work with.

 ‘’Hmm... the Fox has all the good ones.’’ Stiles said, obviously distracted.’’ What? What about me?’’

 ‘’Are you happy with what you’re doing? Would you rather be doing something else?’’

 ‘’No, i’m doing exactly what i always thought i’d be doing. I’m quite amazed by myself to tell you the truth.’’ Derek smiled at that. ‘’I would have liked to have travelled more. I _will_ travel more. I want to live for a while in Europe...Maybe when i’ve raised enough money...’’

  With that he went back to writing down some notes on the list, unaware that he had just sent Derek into an internal panic mode. The thought of Stiles leaving the company… or more accurately the whole fucking continent...was at the very least unsettling.

 Derek took a deep breath and tried to think reasonably. It wasn’t the end of the world. Derek could leave the company for six months...even for a year. He could leave Peter in charge and he would work on the important matters from where he would be. Which was in Europe with Stiles.

 It took him about five minutes to realize that this was the exact opposite of reasonable. But for a while there it did seem perfectly reasonable to follow Stiles anywhere. Not only reasonable but something that went without saying.

 **  
** Derek _would_ ask for professional help but he was pretty sure his condition was beyond salvation.

* * *

   Of all the possible reasons that had crossed Derek’s mind for why acting on his feelings  for Stiles would be wrong, there was only one that actually managed to hold him back. It was definitely not because it was the honorable thing to do and it was most definitely not because he didn’t want to betray Kate. He was more than certain that Kate wasn’t spending her time on her ‘’trips’’ alone, searching for her inner truth. He just didn’t want to put Stiles in that position. He didn’t want to make him the third person; the one that would have to hide, to share, to compromise.

Stiles didn’t deserve this. And he probably wouldn’t want it anyway.

 Too bad that Derek was far from selfless. Too bad that sometimes it takes just one moment of not thinking straight to harm even the people you’d give anything to protect. One moment like the one last Friday night.

He remembers being in his office, arguing with Kate on the phone. He can barely remember why. There was never a particular reason why they were going at each other.

 ‘’You could have been more respectful, Kate.’’ He had said at some point. He had stopped yelling. Instead of angry, he only felt tired.

 ‘’Yeah... right. You did notice your precious friends were commenting on our personal life? I thought this was supposed to be dinner with friends, not counseling. ‘’

 ‘’Erica was just concerned. For God’s sake, can you blame her?’’

 ‘’It depends on what you’ve told her. Do you have to tell her everything that’s going on between us?’’

 ‘’I don’t need to tell her anything. Erica is not stupid and it doesn’t exactly take a genius to realize that we have passing thoughts of poisoning each other.’’

 ‘’Have you been reading my diary?’’ She replied sarcastically.

 Derek sighed, exasperated.

‘’Kate, please… Erica and Boyd are the closest thing i have to a family. Don’t make it impossible for them to be around us.’’

 Kate stayed silent for a second.

‘’I’ll think about it. No promises.’’ She finally said and immediately hung up.

Derek growled, barely resisting to throw his cell across the room. He was still considering it when he heard someone behind him, clearing his throat. He turned to see Stiles standing by the door.

‘’Hey...’’ He began to say. He seemed to wonder if it was an inappropriate moment to be visiting Derek. He had probably heard part of the conversation. ‘’Eeh.. I have the final designs here. If you’d like to take a look or...’’

‘’The final designs, huh?’’ He said, taking them in his hands.

‘’Yeah...soon you won’t have to deal with my blabbing daily. Just... occasionally.’’

Derek snorted. Even if Stiles had no clue about Derek’s feelings, he still knew that they had both enjoyed working together. He was just trying to lighten the atmosphere. So he said nothing and they both sat down on the couch, working silently side by side.

 It was dark outside when Stiles stood up to leave.

 ‘’Do you wanna walk me to my bike?’’ He asked while shoving his stuff back in his messenger bag.

 ‘’Uhm...I’m not leaving.’’ He took off his jacket and walked towards the hanger near the door.

 ‘’Yet?’’

 ‘’Tonight.’’ Derek explained.

 At first Stiles just nodded and turned to leave. He had barely taken two steps before he was rushing back into the office.

 Derek’s eyes widened in surprise as he saw Stiles approaching him...coming to stand right in front of him.He almost stopped breathing when Stiles reached out and touched the side of his neck.

‘’Derek, i just...I just needed to say something. Soon we will go back to normal and we will barely speak to each other and i have to tell you...You must know...’’

  ’What?’’ Derek managed to say.

 Stiles’ hand moved soothingly from his neck up to his cheek and softly stroked it with his thumb. Derek leaned into his touch.

  ‘’That you’re a good person. You deserve to be happy.’’   

Derek never thought this to be true. But at that moment...from Stiles mouth...he believed it. And that’s why he curled his fingers around the hand that was cradling his face. That’s why he turned his head and softly touched his lips on the palm of this hand. And then he looked at Stiles’ face, searching for permission and when he found it, he surged forward for a kiss.

  Stiles hesitated for mere seconds before he parted his lips to welcome Derek into the heat of his mouth. A needy whimper escaped Derek as the boy wrapped his arms around his neck and started leading them backwards to the door. He closed it before pressing Stiles against it. He started spreading kisses on the side of his face...his long, pale neck...before pushing aside the collar of his shirt to gain access to his clavicle. He bit it down hard, causing the boy to moan and cling tighter on him so that he could wrap his legs around Derek’s waist. Derek pressed harder against him, letting him feel his growing erection.

‘’Derek...’’ He managed ,breathlessly. Derek just hummed in acknowledgment from where he was still sucking hard on his collarbone. ‘’Derek...the couch.’’

  He didn’t need to be told twice. He carried him to the couch and laid him down so that he could spread above him. He had already gotten his hands under the boy’s shirt when he felt him squirming kind of uncomfortably. He immediately pulled away.

 ‘’Something wrong? You want me to stop?’’

  Stiles just stared at him for a while...contemplating.

 ‘’No...’’ He finally said. ‘’Someone might see.’’ He added, a blush taking over his face.

   Derek nodded and stood up to lock the door and close the blinds. At this kind of hour there were probably only cleaners and security guards occupying the building but Stiles was right. They better not risk an audience.

 He rushed back to the couch where Stiles welcomed him by spreading his legs and letting him settle between them. He started unbuttoning his gray shirt while simultaneously following the same path with his mouth, creating light bruises from his chest to his navel. When he reached Stiles’ crotch, he mouthed on it a little bit before looking back at the boy’s face. The boy just run his hand through Derek’s hair and nodded frantically. He helped Derek remove his belt and then he moved his torso upwards so that Derek would undo his zipper and rid him of his black jeans.

 ‘’You don’t know...you have no idea...I’ve had dreams about this.’’ Derek said, the words not quite forming right in his head.  He freed Stiles’ almost fully hard cock from his underwear and he instantly decided that actions spoke louder than words. He bent down, taking it in his hand and started pressing open- mouthed kisses from the base up to the head. Stiles groaned in desperation and thrusted upwards involuntarily. Derek continued kissing and licking and forcing heavenly sounds out of Stiles until he himself was so achingly hard that he needed more than that. He sat upwards and dragged Stiles with him so that he would be sitting on his lap. The boy captured Derek’s mouth with his lips and raised the man’s shirt enough so that he could rub his cock across his stomach. Derek stopped massaging the boy’s ass so that he could unbutton the shirt and give Stiles full reign. Stiles dropped his own shirt that was hanging loosely around his shoulders.

  Derek kept touching and kissing Stiles every place he could reach while the boy was working to free Derek’s cock. When their erections finally lined up against each other, Stiles wrapped a hand around both and started leading them to completion. The boy rested his forehead against Derek’s and every now and then, between moans, he would manage to place a handful of light kisses on his lips.

 ‘’Fuck..St...Fuck, Stiles...I’m close...’’ He said, feeling his orgasm building up. He moved his hands from Stiles’ shoulders down to his ass, pulling the cheeks apart and placing a finger against his hole. He only put some gentle pressure against it.

 ‘’Oh my g...oh Der..hmphhhh...’’ Stiles started working them faster while also trying to push back on Derek’s finger. He came with a cry, trying to muffle the sound on Derek’s shoulder. Derek followed seconds after.

 For a while they didn’t stand up. They were looking at each other as if trying to process what had happened. And then Derek just smiled. He couldn’t help it. He hadn’t been with someone like that for so long and now that he had, he couldn’t help but savor every bit of it. With Kate his sex life consisted of huge fights that ended up in angry fucking. It was rough, empty of emotion and it always left him feeling alone...almost used.

He had forgotten how this felt;to be with someone that wanted you.

When they were again clean and fully clothed was when things started getting weird between them. It was like the one was waiting for the other to speak first. Derek didn’t know what to say. Mostly he just wanted to tell Stiles to stay. So he kind of did.

’Do you have to go?’’ He asked. He was sitting on the couch but Stiles hadn’t come join him. He just stood in the middle of the room, looking between the door and Derek.

‘’No.’’ Stiles replied.

‘’Do you want to?’’    

 ‘’I don’t know...Do you want me here?’’ He asked.

 ‘’I always want you here, Stiles.’’ By now he thought it would be fairly obvious.

 ‘’Oh...’’ A tentative smile appeared on his lips. ‘’Well… We could go out, grab something to eat? Let’s not overdo it with overtime.’’

 ‘’Yeah, sure...just let me take my jacket.’’ Derek said, a sense of excitement flaring up in his chest.

 Kate’s ‘’Derek is not miserable’’ senses were probably tingling because she chose that exact moment to call. Derek sighed and walked to the desk to pick up his phone.

 ‘’What?’’ He grunted when he accepted the call.

 ‘’Wha...I’m sorry for checking to see if my husband is still alive. Where the hell are you?’’

  ‘’The office...where else?’’

  ‘’Well, are you coming home or should i not wait for you?”

  ‘’Wait for me?’’ Derek repeated incredulously. Last year he had gone on a professional trip out of town for a whole week. When he came back  Kate had asked him how his day at work had been. Somehow he had a feeling she wasn’t standing every night on their porch waiting for his return. But he decided not to comment further. ‘’No, don’t wait up. I’m staying at the office.’’

 ‘’Hmmm...alone?’’

  ‘’Yes, Kate. Alone. Anything else you need to know?’’

  ‘’No. You have fun. At your office. Alone.’’ She replied meaningfully. ‘’Goodnight, sweetie.’’ He thought he heard her chuckle before hanging up.

  ‘’Uhm...sorry about th...’’ He started to say but as he turned around he found that he was alone in the room. Stiles had left at some point.

Derek couldn’t say that he didn’t understand. That phone call was like a hit from reality. Just because for a moment it felt like it was just him and Stiles, that didn’t mean it was true. And Stiles didn’t have to put up with is. For Stiles he was probably just a guy that he was attracted to. It just wasn’t worth it enough.

 He tried to call him. Mostly to tell him that he gets it, that it doesn’t have to be weird between them and that he will do whatever it takes so that Stiles will feel comfortable again.

 Of course he didn’t pick up.

 On Monday Stiles skipped work, claiming that he was sick. Derek felt his heart sink.

That was it. He had lost the boy for good. Even the little parts he’d been allowed to have.

* * *

  For the most part of the last five days, Stiles couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility of resigning. Just the thought of seeing or speaking to Derek again was enough to send him on the verge of a panic attack.But the thought of never seeing Derek again resulted at the exact same conclusion and that left Stiles drowning in frustration and confusion.

  He shouldn’t have come back to the company so soon. He was not ready yet. It was probably best to go home and call work to say he was diagnosed with something highly contagious. Tuberculosis, whooping cough, the black plague...There were so many things to choose from.

He turned to leave and then try calling from his deathbed but _of course_ there was an instant change of plans when he came face to face with Derek.

‘’Stiles.’’ He said, apparently relieved. ‘’I had started to believe you wouldn’t show up again.’’

‘’Well...to be completely honest, I had just decided to leave...’’

 ‘’No!’’ Derek interrupted hastily. ‘’Please...you don’t have to. Can we just talk?’’

 ‘’About?’’

 Derek sighed tiredely.

 ‘’I don’t know, Stiles. About the weather, the tumbling economy...maybe about us having sex  the other night?’’

  ‘’Oh...We...we are talking about this?’’

  ‘’Doesn’t it sound like something worth discussing to you?’’ 

  ‘’Uhm...Yeah. I just assumed you’d prefer it if we went the ‘’pretend it never happened’’ route.’’

    Stiles regretted the comment the moment it left his lips, seeing Derek’s face morphing into a hurtful expression. Out of nowhere, the man grabbed his wrist and dragged him inside the company without even caring about the curious looks coming their way. When they reached the elevators, Derek glared at the employees as a warning to stay the fuck back and wait for the next one and they rode the first one to open its doors. They both remained silent until they were between the first and second floor and Derek pressed the Stop button.

 ‘’What are you doing?’’

 ‘’I’m making sure you don’t disappear on me before i get to tell you some things.’’

 ‘’Like?’’

  ‘’Like i don’t know...You can pretend nothing happened between us all you want but i can’t do the same. It sort of is the best thing that’s happened to me in years. And like… you don’t need to leave. I will do whatever you  need so that you’ll feel comfortable again. I’ll make sure you only see me when it’s absolutely necessary. I could give you a one month leave or something. Just...please, come back.’’

 ‘’Why?’’ Stiles asked completely dumbfounded.

 ‘’Why what?’’

 ‘’Why is it so important that i stay?’’

 ‘’Because...you’re good at what you do. And...i don’t think i… The thought of never seeing you again…I don’t like it.’’

  Stiles could feel his heart slamming against this ribs and he was ninety per cent certain it was not because of a panic attack but because of what was probably the first love confession in his entire life.

 ‘’Wow...’’ He managed to breath out.

 ‘’Don’t act so surprised. I think almost everyone in this company has figured out how i feel about you.’’

  ‘’I hadn’t.’’ Stiles cried out. ‘’The other night...and then the phone call… I thought it was just a one time thing. That you needed to escape for a while or something. I didn’t realize there were feelings. Why didn’t you tell me?’’

  ‘’Tell you what?’’ Derek asked, raising his voice. ‘’That everything i felt...everything i knew… came upside down since the morning i saw you standing outside the company? That it was enough for me to look at you from afar like a lovesick teenager or that you were the only thing keeping me sane in my worst days? No, thanks...I thought i would save my self that humiliation.’’

  He violently pressed the Start button and the elevator started moving again. It took Stiles seconds to come out of his shock and hurriedly stop the elevator again between the second and third floor.

  ‘’Yes! You should have fucking told me. Because then..Then you would know that meeting you… It was important for me too. I remember standing outside the building, out of my freaking mind because i was minutes away from the most important interview of my life and then i see you. And at that moment i swear i thought… If he does something...If he talks to me, i will fucking blow the stupid interview and just go with him. For a date, for a walk...anything...But then the interview happened and you turned out to be my boss. And also married...so you know...it all went downhill from there.’’

 ‘’So...Are you staying?’’ Derek asked after a moment of awkward silence.

 ‘’I don’t know, Derek. Stay and do what? Ignore our feelings for each other or act on them and then lie and deceive people.’’

  ‘’Stiles, i wish things were more simple. I wish i could promise you that my marriage is just a technicality. I wish i could tell you that i will end everything at this moment and we can be together like a normal couple. But...things are more complicated. My marriage is complicated. There are reasons i can’t just leave Kate and live my life with whomever i want. But if i could, it would be with you. I need you in my life.  In whatever way you wish to be part of it. I can’t be more honest than this.’’

 ‘’I’m not sure i can do this.’’

 ‘’I...understand.’’ Derek smiled then; a small, tired smile of resignation.

   And that for Stiles was unacceptable. Because Stiles had seen Derek’s actual smile and it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever witnessed in his life. He didn’t just want to see it again. He wanted to be the cause of it.

  Stiles never did things halfway. He loved a lot. He always gave everything he got. The thought of being with someone he would have to share...with someone that would keep him hidden from the world…felt wrong. And yet for Derek he was willing to go against that feeling. Because somehow he knew…

 He knew that Derek was really his.

 It took twenty minutes for the elevator to get passed the third floor.

* * *

  _ **'If it takes my whole life**_

**_I won't break, I won't bend_ **

**_It will all be worth it_ **

**_Worth it in the end''_ **

* * *

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> -this is sth i wrote pretty quickly so that i could test run uploading on this archive  
> -i still hope sb will like it :)  
> -even if zero people like it, i’ll still add parts because i kind of enjoyed the universe (go me!!!). and i have to explain why Derek is staying married with Kate and stuff.
> 
> Disclaimer:  
> I do not own Teen Wolf or any of the characters.


End file.
